What I have Learned About Motivation from Supervising 100+ People on Probation

When I began my career in probation at the ripe age of 23, I thought I was ready.

College gave me a solid foundation in the Criminal Justice System. I was taught its history, evolution, and the theories behind why we do what we do. What it didn’t prepare me for, however, was the complex and often messy world of behavior change.

No textbook explained how to balance empathy with accountability or how to help someone change behaviors that had been deeply ingrained for years, sometimes generations.

Over the years, supervising more than 100+ clients taught me lessons that continue to shape not only how I view human behavior, but also how I approach coaching, mindset, and lasting change today.

Change Doesn’t Happen Because Someone Told You To

In probation, compliance is often mistaken for change. People show up, complete the required programs, and check boxes, but that doesn't always mean lasting change.

What I learned quickly is that lasting behavior change cannot be forced. The very design of probation is meant to drive external motivation. "Complete these conditions and you don't have to serve the jail or prison sentence 'hanging over your head'. Fail to do so, and you will serve that time." Extrinsic motivation (fear of consequences) might start the process, but intrinsic motivation (example: desire to change to improve themselves or family relationships) is what keeps it going.

It’s the same reason why simply being told to “eat better” or “exercise more” rarely works. True change begins when someone connects his/her why to their actions.

2015; A Thoughtful Parting Gift from a Coworker as I Transitioned to a Different County

Accountability Without Empathy Breeds Resistance

At 23, I thought the position was all about accountability and that meant holding people strictly to the rules. However, I quickly learned that rules without a relationship lead to resistance. Without trust, without a genuine connection where a client believes you truly have their best interest at heart, meaningful behavior change is nearly impossible. Trust driven by empathy is the foundation that makes accountability effective. I often had more people running away from me (literally), than coming towards me for help.

Empathy doesn't mean letting people off the hook, it means understanding their world enough to guide them through it. When someone feels heard and seen, they’re more likely to engage, to trust, and to try again after setbacks.

The best progress I witnessed came from blending accountability with compassion and holding people to a higher standard while also helping them believe they could reach it.

Change is Rarely Linear and It will Take Longer than You Want

Progress is not a straight line. It often would look like two steps forward, one step back. This pattern mirrors what I now see in fitness and nutrition coaching. Clients experience progress, relapse, reflection, and growth.

Expecting perfection only sets people up for disappointment. What matters more is persistence to continue to improve, the willingness to be objectively reflect on setbacks, and learn from our challenges.

We also expect things to happen quickly, but when it comes to changing our existing habits that are likely rooted in old belief systems no longer serving us, this takes time and patience. We cannot set arbitrary deadlines on personal growth.

Environment and Support Systems Matter More Than Willpower

One of the biggest lessons from probation was how much environment shapes behavior.

You can teach someone new coping skills, but if they return to the same triggers, same stressors, and same social pressures, change can become more challenging.

That’s true whether it’s substance use, emotional eating, or self-sabotage. Building an environment that supports growth and surrounding yourself with people who encourage it, is one of the biggest predictors of success. We often think that someone who exercises regularly and eats healthy has more motivation and willpower than someone who struggles to maintain these habits, but the reality is they have set their environment up in a way that reduces the resistance around those behaviors.

Everyone is Capable of Change, But Not Everyone is Ready

You may think that having the threat of incarceration hanging over your head, would light a fire under you to make some serious changes so you would never be in that position again, but change cannot be forced on someone who isn't ready for it.

Understanding the Stages of Change, being able to identify what stage client is in, and adapt my approach is key to truly facilitating behavior change.

Readiness is crucial and readiness looks different for everyone. Where we may be ready for one change, we may still be contemplating a change in another area.

Through working in probation and as a fitness and nutrition coach, my job isn’t to make someone change, it is to help them see that they can.

Lastly, It is Up to the Individual to Determine what Success is for Them

In true autonomous fashion, we can’t define success for someone else; that responsibility belongs to the individual.

In probation, “success” looks different for every client. For some, it means maintaining stable housing and steady employment. For others, it is about rebuilding relationships, staying sober, or simply being present for their children.

The same principle applies in fitness and nutrition coaching. Success isn’t a one-size-fits-all destination. For one client, success might mean feeling confident in their clothes again. For another, it is increasing energy, lowering stress, or building a healthier relationship with food.

That’s why setting individualized goals is so important. Goals provide direction and clarity, but they also honor autonomy. As a coach, my role isn’t to impose my version of success, but to guide, support, and empower clients as they define and work toward their own.

My Final Thoughts

Looking back, my career in probation continues to be the foundation for everything I do today. It continues to teach me that behavior change is not about willpower or punishment, but about understanding, support, and consistency.

Whether I’m helping someone rebuild their fitness routine or improve their health habits, the same principles apply:

• Meet people where they are

• Listen before leading

• Balance compassion with accountability

• Celebrate progress, not perfection

We are all capable of incredible transformation and sometimes, we just need someone to believe in our potential long enough for us to see it in ourselves. ❣️

Sincerely,

Allyson